Lord Drakus: An Erotic Life

CactusCactus RabbleRouser
The gods sip their tea through a slight smile, so amused that such a simple little troll worked again. "May even be within the next half hour." "You just hit a good time." What fools these mortals are! How many times will they fall for the exact. same. thing! Setting down the teacup, the gods let out a proper little toot and ease back in the bath to fiddle their bits. The holy iPad clatters with anticipation.
 
FREE DARRIN!!

Comments

  • CactusCactus RabbleRouser
    "90% done," the gods cackle as another delicious toot, and then another, escape and bubble to the surface.
     
    FREE DARRIN!!
  • CactusCactus RabbleRouser
    The toots are coming more rapidly now. One after another. Faster, faster, merging into each other, forming a steady stream that spirals urgently up the surface. The bath is now a bubbling cauldron of delight. The gods cry out more! more!! as the bath churns and boils over. "I'm going to update in a bit". MORE! MORE!! "With the actions as they are." FFAOOOMM!!! a salty explosion rends the air, shattering every window and curling the wallpaper. Then -- utter silence. The holy iPad clatters again. It's the mortals. Again. Tittering with petitions. Maybe later. Maybe soon. Patience, my pets. The divine refractory period will be over again shortly. Shortly.
     
    FREE DARRIN!!
  • CactusCactus RabbleRouser
    the gods draw another bath and put the kettle on
    "and then you can action it up"
    a firehose of clotted cream drills another hole through the ceiling
    the tub lurches and careens before snapping off its final clawfoot
    the holy ipad skids across the soupy tile before burrowing into the perpetually soggy carpet.
    tomorrow is another day. bits drained, bag is done, time for another kettle. silly mortals.
     
    FREE DARRIN!!
  • CactusCactus RabbleRouser
    @???? Eggs ALERT ALERT!! THE GODS ARE IN THE BATH. I REPEAT, THE GODS ARE IN THE BATH.
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    FREE DARRIN!!
  • CactusCactus RabbleRouser
    The bubbles are so smooth and velvety tonight. Like a sultry blanket of scented foam. The gods just aren't into it, though. This one is almost out of obligation, more than anything. Keeping up appearances. Basic persona maintenance. Straight to the money shot, with a raspy cackle of "I haven't done my original drawing yet." Meh. Kind of a waste, really. Like popping an old blister, or stepping on a forgotten Boston creme. Lazy. Uninspired. Good thing there's always tomorrow.
     
    FREE DARRIN!!

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